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balance (2): October 2005

Saturday, October 29, 2005

jump

upheaval is like petroleum and i am a car. i thrive on change- yippee! i’m in the process of packing up my house and animal(s) to move to the place i really want to be, and getting rid of a person i really don’t want to be with (but friendly-like, see, which is not easy, wish me luck!). my job is still an on-off roller coaster but either way i am going to have me a holiday for the next two months and then decide what to really do! the rain has stopped and i feel free!


festival


puppy dog


halloweenie spider on my porch

Sunday, October 23, 2005

rain rain go away

it has rained for about 8 days straight- i mean non-stop, so much so that we can not leave the house; we being 'o', puppy, and i. we are all feeling stir crazy and a bit murderous towards one another (not that i didn't feel that a bit before, but it's a bit cold and really wet too). 'o' reads his schoolbooks from morning until evening and grunts. i dodge puppy and play on the internet and try to decide whether to run or not.

"* Like over 99% of species, human beings are not a monogamous species. Only a few centuries ago, people lost their mates to childbirth, disease, war and other mishaps relatively often, so the phrase "‘till death do ye part" didn‘t mean the 40 or 50 years marriages are expected to last today. Typically, people break up oftenest when the kid reaches kindergarten, approximately. Why? It‘s genetically advantageous to have each kid by a different mate. Then if one of your mates has a genetic defect, only one of your kids will get it. Monogamy is actually BAD for a species. Human beings engage in behaviors that maximize genetic variance and reproductive success. One strategy is by "cheating." It may not feel nice, but it‘s the dominant strategy of most animals biologically. Solution: polygamy. Damienne , CA 10/07/05 "

-from ihatemen.com, tee hee. & "No men, no cry. -- Unknown"... and before anyone starts spluttering there is an ihatewomen.com as well........oh, and here is another good travel blog.

anyway it's getting old! thai cable sucks! and i am sick of thai food. eek! monsoon season here is much worse than further north (koh chang)... at least it isn't winter in the US though, so i won't complain any further until i have to take the boat for a visa run (to penang)...

Thursday, October 20, 2005

monsoon full moon

well i can understand almost all the thai around me now, though i speak a much smaller percentage. i can eavesdrop on o's calls to his mother, anyway... i have made some actual thai friends too (though they are all male so can't be too sure!) who speak good english so i get an occasional break. contrary to my former belief i can actually carry on an intelligent conversation with a thai boy (and vice versa) without screwing his brains out... (though not always without desiring to)... oh! and one girl, who works in a magical island place called mai pen rai, who also speaks english and makes awkward tomboy jokes in thai, but otherwise has the demeanor of a farm girl, and in her utopia has become a friend.... there are other people too- the goofy germans whom i can prop myself up on at the bar on as we slither and giggle. a girl who makes me impatient and mean, who is "innocent" and religious (with her straight up gigolo) and who scared away the brazilian neighbors one night (before they moved away, pout ) talking about how people who smoke marijuana are crazy drug addicts. sigh. she has her little english kid in the village school fumbling with slippery thai words and young wailun gangs who drive motorbikes too fast on the sleepy main street.


ladyboy pal susie


bye brazil

it has rainrainrained here for days and days, 'o' and i are trapped between staring dully off our porch into the jungle (most of the residents of which have tried to crawl in, including one shocking appearance by a monitor lizard, several large spiders, and a chirrupping tookay, or- "giant gecko in my kitchen!") and sucking in lemongrass fumes at the sauna or being indecisive in the bustling fresh market, where i buy shrimp that try to kill me. (or is that 'o', who is miraculously ok after eating the same meal while i end up hooked to an IV in the hospital?). i am the cover girl for 'anopheles weekly' magazine (the dengue-fever bestowing mosquito) so look for future issues of that as well.... i am also the proud new recipient of a lovely thai style concrete house for rent in thong nai pan, though i won't say exactly where. yay! i have written two pages of a book based off an actual outline... my puppy has transformed into a dog before my eyes but we still cuddle and talk babytalk (and she pees a fucking lot). funding from my work is on a daily rollercoaster of off and on (currently and most likely for awhile off). my boyfriend has become my roommate and friend. i have sticky rice and mango with warm coconut milk and life is good.

Friday, October 07, 2005

thursday

dear lord

please stop sending me your dribbling, babbling minions all throughout my life. i understand you are top dollar but i prefer to love myself rather than feel like everything i do is wrong and punishable. i am sure you are cool but i guess you would be cool without all the literature and ceremony too. never mind the outright self righteousness and entrepreneurialism. my neighbors did not appreciate hearing they were damned to hell while said minion draped herself lasciviously over a thai man who would sooner karma sutra with the librarian neighbor than look at her and her aging hands folded in prayer. ugh!

thanks and amen- elocin

otherwise, 'o' and i escaped the clutches of our vampire puppy long enough to stumble upon the best party of our lives in thong nai pan. it was the finals of the local football teams, on the beach. there were hot dog stands and everything. morlam music. thong nai pan versus bottle beach. our (male?) friend "susie" was decked out in a wig and long skirt- the head cheerleader. all of the neighborhood was there and the gossip was cranked up to ...very loud. local families you don't expect to see at a party were hovering on the peripheral with grins.i kept catching myself accidentally flirting and being friendly. 'o' drove home in what felt like a video game on the jungle road long after we should have left to escape the huge storm and get home to my boss on IM.

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