patience

the political crisis in thailand has winded down for now, though there is still a lot going on under the surface (most of which we can't talk about by law so that makes for barely suppressed rebelliousness and boring blog entries!) the fighting is liable to spring up again soon in an even nastier form, depending on certain circumstances, so we are all a bit edgy here in the lull of the storm.

meanwhile i watched the movie 'twilight', and though i am not in it's target demographic (idealistic teenybopper girls dreaming of vampire boyfriends) and it wasn't all that great a movie, it made me surprisingly homesick for my country. there were some gorgeous scenery shots from the pacific northwest. around this time of year i start to miss winter a little bit, of course... christmas in bangkok is dead boring, and the recorded carols repeated halfheartedly in the shopping centers and fake evergreens with spray-on snow really just don't balance out the fact that it's about 90 degrees and a buddhist country. it's not only christmas i miss though, it's american humor, pop culture, fashion, music, liberalism, a dating pool of some interest to me, and dare i say it- decriminalization of marijuana, my drug of choice for anxiety, of which i have been deprived for a long while now... :( my friend 'y' says i probably just miss it all because i can't have it for now, as i am notoriously dissatisfied and restless. she is usually right about me.

i do have to wonder though if i will ever go back there and settle again. part of me wants a quaint house in the mountains with a variety of pets, an organic garden, and a road trip-friendly vehicle handy. but chances are i would quickly grow bored. same goes with the sleek, airy loft on the riverfront in the city. 'x' and i had that once in fact- spent thousands of dollars painting and furnishing a gorgeous loft with leather couches, flat screen tvs, framed art and down filled comforters. almost as soon as we finished we looked around, said "that was fun", then sold it all and went travelling again. :) the curse of gypsy blood!

my gypsy blood is boiling now and it is all i can do not to cut and run, but i have to be disciplined for now. so i am resolving to make do with the contracts i have coming in (which are a blessing i shouldn't overlook as so many others i know are jobless), make the best of the relationships with people i do have here now (though they are not "my" people), and try to be positive a day at a time.

anarchy

PAD Protesters at Suvarnabhumi Airport (from BBC)


the situation in thailand right now is pretty ridiculous. i mean as if we all didn't have enough to worry about with the global economic problems and terrorist attacks, without the thais throwing temper tantrums. the PAD protesters have gone so far as to take the country hostage- no one is getting in and out via bangkok anyway. and rumors are that they would think about shutting down food and water supplies, communications and power, transportation etc. to get their point across if closing the airports doesn't do it. the weird thing is that it's been 4 days now and the government/military have not done a damn thing to stop them! how weak and ineffectual does the leadership of this country look? and thailand bemoans the fact that people still refer to it as a 3rd world country....i have to say it, i think these people are idiots.

anyway people are talking about civil war! well, i can understand the PAD's side of things- they want to overhaul thailand's system of government and the (corrupt) election process, and get rid of the selfish, childish, greedy ex-PM thaksin and his influence. however paying grandmothers and children to stand for you as human shields, and sentencing your own nation to years of destitution to prove your point is pretty out of line. let's hope they come to their senses and find a better way to arbitrate things. not least of all because i want to be safe and be able to communicate with the outside world, if not leave this place and go there.

meanwhile, i am not finding any opportunities for work in NY and am very reluctant to go there without something set up. i am resigning myself to having to put off my trip back to civilization until warmer months (after i have had a chance to feel out the effects of the economy and obama's presidency). at least i am getting stable work here and still have some good friends around. i will just have to make the best of it.

i really, really need some inspiration of some sort though, before i go braindead. i miss 'x'. :(

bingo

found a great website with an overview of Bangkok's art scene (which I admit I didn't realize existed): Art Scene TV


also, am ecstatic to discover ChefsXPress and FoodByPhone!!! so now, even though i am a hermit and friendless and have no one to go out with at night, i still can sample the great food of this city. :)